Day 16 - A song that I used to love but now hate...

This irritates me a lot, I over-played it in my teens and now it grates.  I still love her other music and it takes me back.

Did make me laugh when my mum said a few months back, I have heard this song recently and I love the lyrics, she started telling me the one's she could remember and I finished the song off for her.  I know it back to front...

Yay, I did it...

Well, I got to the top of Snowdon, to be fair there were times when I didn’t think I was going to make it... which had more to do with the smoking than my level of fitness (who am I kidding, that's not great either!).  I am really pleased to say that I have left my cigarettes at the top, and I am now beginning day 3 of smoke free living!  Metaphorically speaking of course as there were no bins at the top.   

When I got to the peak, which I struggled like hell doing, it was definately time for a new start.  There is no way I am going to struggle like that again the smoking is well and truly done.  Although my legs are really strong, the oxygen couldn’t to them, because I have been hammering the dirty cigs for the last god knows how long!

When I was climbing I had quite a lot of time to reflect which was mostly spent thinking of all the people over the last few days who had told me it was easy.  At that point while I was trying to work out what the hell they were going on about I wasn't aware that there was an easy route down the other side... no one had told me about this, I didn’t know there was a dirt track running down the other side of the bloody mountain which they were all clearly referring too! 

The most bizarre thing about the whole climb, was not only was it decided that we would go on a day when the clocks go forward, genius (up at 5am on a Sunday).  It was also decided that we weren’t going up the easy way!  Now I am safely at the bottom of said mountain, I agree It wouldn’t have been much of a challenge had we have walked up the same dirt track we walked down.

My legs are killing now and I keep ceasing up, but I am pretty bloody proud of myself, especially as I still haven't had a smoke. 

Our team, the blue team were the second to leave at 10am and we reached the peak around 12.50pm, well they did I was probably more around the 1pm mark, those last few steps were a bugger!  They were such great ladies, and without them I am not sure if I would have actually made it, although I still feel a little guilty for stopping them every 5 minutes or so on the way up because I thought there might be a chance I was going to die!  Even if secretly they liked it because I gave everyone a break allowing us all to stop and me to breathe again!  I will never forget the burn in my thighs, it was an absolute killer.  

I really don't know how I would have done it without them! 

One of my fondest memories of the climb was when a lovely smiley man walked past me on his way down and declared, ‘only another 15 minutes to the turn love, and then just another 15 after that it's okay you are nearly there.'  He was looking directly at me when he said it, as clearly I was the only one struggling like puck.  I get the sneaky feeling he walks up the dirt track and down the pyg track most sundays and takes pleasure in winding people up.  Had I of been able to breathe or move there is every chance I would have pushed him back down.  Not very charitable I know, but the only thing that was going through my mind was ‘why the hell am I doing this again?,’ and as soon as I get home, I am crossing out Scafell on my charity form and writing Snowdon in big letters with a big tick against it.  I was also trying to work out why any of these people were walking past smiling?  Were they crazy?  Why the hell do people choose to do this to themselves on a weekend... for pleasure, REALLY? 

Anyway, after reaching the top and skipping all the way down ‘with a big fat SMILE on MY face’ I can’t wait for Scafell Pike, note to self, plenty of crunchs because if that was only the practice, god knows what they have in store for us.  I am very sure there will be an easy way up Scafell, but it is safe to say that isn’t going to be the route they have chosen, hell no.  So luckily as I am working again, time to get involved in a new gym membership, now the broken foot has healed nicely.

Mountains are like childbirth, it doesn’t take long to forget the pain but it was worth every minute of it.  Bring it on!... (did I mention I cheated and had two c-sections!)

Also please note all the pictures you can see are either at the top or on the way down, as on the way up there was no photography involved, just gasps for breath mostly.  However, I do feel a bit sad about this, as indeed I have no proof how difficult it was… just take my word for it, alternatively get yourself up to Snowdon and trek the Pyg track, please feel free to get me some pictures when you are doing it, that would be grand xxx

Day 15 - A song that describes me

I don't really need to say much about this...

Day 14 - A Song that no one would expect me to like

This song brings back so many memories of Creamfields 2006, when I finally decided never to go back and spent the night dancing my ass off in the main arena.  The night I found me again... men are so overrated, not this one though...

Day 13 - A Song that is a guilty pleasure...

It was definately a toss up between Busted, McFly a bit of Dolly Parton and a couple of musicals.  This is not so much a guilty pleasure I love Glee especially dancing around the kitchen with my Georgie girl when its on the TV... 

I challenge you to not love this song,I swear it's impossible!

It also brings back memories of the summer spent stripping the front room in our old house with my friend Joanna.  There must have been about sixteen layers of old wallpaper and we just listened to Journey on repeat and sang our little heads off.

Here we are again!... insomnia city

Well here we are again, what is it with me, Fridays and insomnia?   Oh well whilst I’m up, I may as well blog for a bit.   A few things, Snowdon Sunday for the Macmillan nurses, can’t wait, I have no idea what I have gotten myself in to as I am hearing mixed reviews.  Although I still find it bizarre that we are practising for Scafell on Snowdon, which is higher… maybe they should have thrown in Ben Nevis and then we would have completed the 3 peaks this year! 

I have absolutely no shame so I am going to pop a link in here for my charity, as they do so much for cancer patients and work solely on a donation basis.  I really don’t want to wittle on about it in this blog, as personal things are best left for my other one, but I am doing this for my best friend Sarah who has recently had reconstructive surgery and is undergoing chemotherapy at the moment for breast cancer.   I have broken my heart and laid myself bare in my other blog, as I cannot believe what she is going through and feel so utterly useless, but as she may possibly stumble across this, I will leave it alone as some things are best kept private.  Although, I will say I am actually doing this climb to make myself feel better as I can honestly say I have never felt so helpless in my entire life.  Especially, as she has always been there at the most crucial times in my life, she even held my hand and made me smile when I went for my babies scans whilst my estranged ex-husband propped up the bar somewhere (again something best left for the other blog).

http://www.justgiving.com/Nadine-Kemmett

I am pretty disgusted with myself that I still smoke, and I am off in a minute to crack open my Allen Carr book again, I hope to finish it before Sunday so then I have conquered two things when I get to the top of that mountain!   I have to do it for Sarah but mostly for my children, I get angry when I know full well what I am doing to myself and think of Sarah’s kids and what they must be going through, but I struggle like mad with it.  The last time I got to 3 months in and was so proud of myself, I have no idea what happened I suppose I just crumbled.  I did put on loads of weight though, and lost my passion for cooking and food, instead snacking on chocolate.  Oh well, that is just something I am going to have to work on.

Anyway off for a read and hopefully my tutor has marked my assignment so I can carry on with the rest of the course as I am falling behind, especially as my head is so full of other stuff… 

Day 12 - A song from a band/artist you hate

Not a fan of Robbie Williams or anything Take That.  But I feel a little bit sorry for him at the moment after the amount of time he has been sat around in his big house in America trying to work out how the hell he is going to come back home, without everyone seeing all of the egg dripping from his face.

I did feel really bad for him when he did his big come back recently and could see the tears in his eyes were real, I am a sucker for celeb meltdowns.  I do think it is safe to say he was close to a nervous breakdown and thanks to Take That, I don't think it will be too long before he has one.  They have just asked him to leave the band after five minutes of being back in it and are hyping it up as though he has made out he wants to rebuild his career.  I think it is just a snide win for Gary Barlow who has never gotten over the fact that everyone used to love Robbie more.

Anyway enough of feeling sorry for him because he has always done my head in, with this song being the number one culpret.  I am assuming the download off You Tube is okay because there is no way I will be listening to it anytime soon... enjoy, or not its up to you

Day 11 - A song from your favourite band...

Well this is a toughie... I have lots of favourite's.  Snow Patrol always being up there, although I am currently struggling to get past my obsession with Tyson Ritter. 

and so... God I love him so much, is this wrong? 

Day 10 - A song that makes you fall asleep

Oh well updated facebook the other day but forgot to update here, I am pretty sure this is the one I decided on.  I remember it playing away in the background, in some rustic old pub in Gloucester, when I was visiting my boyfriend at the time, Andy Pearson.  I will never forget I went down to celebrate my 18th him and he finished with me the day before.  Although I may have been upset at the time I am really grateful I was there as it allowed me to spend that birthday with my Nan and Gramp, and my Gramp still talks about it to this day with a smile.

It also made for an interesting trip for me, and loads of teenage woe and angst, which has also given me inspiration for my writing, so on the upside, 'thanks for ruining my birthday Andy,' I gained a hell of a lot from the experience and would do it all again in a second! 

I wonder what ever happened to Andy, if I remember rightly he ran off with a barmaid I used to work with... bizarre.  

Maybe I should have gone with one of Enya's sleepy numbers, but I haven't really listened to her since my wedding and I tend to avoid her... 

Inappropriate texts

Well there is my hook, I imagine you were thinking a nice bit of filth, for this time in the morning!  Erm, nope, sorry to disappoint, but at 11' o clock last night finally dropping off to sleep and my neighbour decides to text me.  An emergency perhaps?.. someone died?  No – Will you go and put something in my fridge, wtf! 

If you have ever bothered looking at the times of some of my posts or actually listened to my moans, I am sure you may notice that I struggle with sleep – a lot! and unless she has some major body part lying around the house that is about to go off, I can’t see what the problem is. 

Granted she is from SA and it can get hot but we are in England and hardly in the middle of a bloody heatwave, in fact it is sodding freezing out there. 

But, of course, now she has me, I am curious (always goes hand in hand with sleep that one, not!) what could it be; the butter, milk what the hell could she have lying around her kitchen side that while she is lying next to her boyfriend all tucked up nicely in bed makes her think that it is okay to text me, especially when she has seen me looking like a zombie on more than one occasion?

Her house freaks me out actually, there is definitely something there and I am thinking that it isn’t going to be welcoming me with open arms, in my jimmy jams at this ungodly hour and to be fair I didn’t want to find out either way.

Now I am faced with a dilemma and as a rule I pride myself in not lying, in fact I hate liars.  So, I was asleep, is that a lie?  I was actually asleep, her sodding text woke me up, volume set full blast for my alarm in the morning, which I may as well turn off now what with the fact I am just sat here typing shite at 4, well nearly 5... unable to sleep, thanks for that! 

What the fuck has she got lying on that work top that needs me to pop round so late at night.  Generally I will do anything for people as a rule, but surely there has to be a line, putting butter in the fridge for them last thing at night because they have decided to stay over at their boyfriends is just taking the piss, surely.  I mean what is the worst that could happen?  It’s not like she'd left the water running on the bath, or the heating on, I could even understand if it had been freezer at least it would have had the decency to defrost if I didn't get involved!..  but hell thanks for your wonderful text as now I am sat here at 4 o’clock, well 5 now in the morning with a guilty conscience. Unable to sleep, maybe I should text her now to say I was asleep and have only just got her text. 

Still not going around though, which has more to do with the house being freaky than anything else because I would have done it hours ago.

Note to self – stop doing things everything for people because they are beginning to tip the scales to borderline ridiculous!  What to do now hey?  Sit around twiddling my thumbs a bit, have a read, catch up on my course, the list is endless… rah! 

p.s next time you ask me to do something, life altering, and I nonchalantly say no.  Just knock on next door and thank her!

Okay I may not be sick, but you get where I was going with it, eh!

Day 9 - A Song that I can dance to

Well I know it isn't day 9 anymore, but I have been so busy recently with my new job and course... blah blah

Anyhow as I don't generally dance anymore, as a rule, getting a bit old now!  Here is one I used to love dancing to back in the day.  It brings back memories of Friday at Legends in Warrington, and The Cherry in Runcorn on a Saturday.  I can't remember the amount of times I got head butted dancing/moshing 'ahem'.

Lots of good memories I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Day 08 - A song I know all of the words too.

I know all the words to most of Lissie's tracks, she is amazing.  I definately have to see her live at some point this year.

End of Days

There has just been a huge explosion at the Nuclear Reactor, it's okay though the government have said it is possibly a ceiling collapsing under all the pressure and it is unlikely to have affected the actual reactor... good good we can all breathe again now.  FFS, signing off I have no words, for once!

Day 7 - A song that reminds me of a certain event... cheating I know but I missed yesterday!

This song couldn't knock Shaggy's Angel off the top, so only reached number 2, when my Son, Thomas was born in 2001.  It also reached number one in 1989 for another group when my brother, James was born.  Although I am not really a fan of the group (the second time around!) it is a really significant song for me, and I remember looking down at my lovely baby...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aztY_fpjJeQ

Day 6 - A song that reminds me of somewhere

It reminds me of lying by the Pool in Cape Town while my Christmas dinner was being cooked on the braai.  Every time we got in the car it played on the radio, if I put the heating on and close my eyes I am back in the sunshine in South Africa, love it!...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz27_-HQf_Y

Japan

I spent most of yesterday editing, editing and then re-editing my assignment.  When I finally managed to take five, I switched on the television.  I couldn't believe what was happening in front of me, all of those poor people in Japan.  Absolutely devastating news, and now to top off the earthquake, and tsunami they are releasing nuclear gas into their surrounding atmosphere, to stop the whole power station from blowing up (the lesser of the two evils I suppose, but hell either way).  Evacuating people to a safer 10km (6mile) distance, would you want to be 6 miles away from nuclear gas?  I know it is the best they can do in all the carnage, but my heart is bleeding for those poor people.

I remember back in December or January, reports of flocks of birds dying in mid-air, in different places around the world, and just falling to the ground.  Some random reason was thrown in our general direction to placate us, whilst they conducted tests, the results of which we will probably never hear about.  Then last week there were reports of thousands of sardines, dying as they swam, the reasoning 'they ran out of oxygen!' okay a little more difficult to chew, but we have to tell them something to stop mad panic.  Admist all the latest chaos, I imagine they think we have forgotten about the birds and sardines, wrong! 

I look into the eyes of my children and try to make some sense of the madness that is starting to unfold, counting all of my blessings, realising just how lucky we are, at the moment.  Next week it could be us, and to be fair what chance would our little island stand against anything!  During the millenium I was never bothered, I always knew we had a few more years left, and here we are... it is just the beginning!

Day 5 - A song that reminds me of someone

Pretty odd question as every song reminds me of someone, at some time or other in my life.  This song reminds me of lots of different people, at different times and for many different reasons.  Maybe should have been the real day 4!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRIbf6JqkNc

Day 4 - A song that makes me sad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrENE9frX7s&feature=related

The version is a bit pants but I couldn't find a better one.  Just had a listen before I posted, and yes it still makes me cry, such a beautful song.

Changed my mind...

Erm okay, so my mind changed on it's way over to facebook, I was saving this up for another day as it holds so many memories for me, but it is definately up there with my favourites and also makes me happy so...

Elbow - Day like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk2xaeXnxlM

Day 3 - A song that makes me happy

Okay so I have to cheat, it is just far too difficult to just choose just one.  I am stuck between about 20 at the moment.  So I have chosen 2, which make me happy for very different reasons:-

Bedouin Soundclash - When the Night feel's my song because it makes me happy to be alive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlsBPH8O7q8

Flo Rida - The Club Can't handle me because it is a choon, and everytime I hear it I just want to dance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgM3r8xKfGE

depends which happy they were after...

Day 2 - My least favourite song

I love the fact the video is about New York, I adore New York.  I didn't know until today as I have never been on You Tube to watch the video, clearly!  I couldn't make it to the end though as I hate this song so much.  It would be fair to say, it actually makes me very angry, and coming from someone who is already pretty angry, it's definately best to give it a swerve.

Duck Sauce - Barbara Streisand (link is below if you actually care!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWhtcU4-xAM&feature=channel

I love Barbara though, just the song I can't stand...

30 day music challenge...

Just started this music challenge on facebook.  It is a damn site harder than it first looked because I love so many different bands, all for very different reasons.  Anyway it isn't letting me post to the wall on my facebook only to the feed page so I am going record it on here, so I can come back and take a look whenever I want.  A bit like the 360 project but I figure I will actually do this one!  We shall see...

day 1 - My favourite song (I have so many many favourites is untrue, but this is one I love)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhZTNgAs4Fc

This is the general gist of the rest of the challenge:-

day 02 - your least favorite song
day 03 - a song that makes you happy
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal) (Extended Version)

Bueller

As Ferris Bueller said, you’d better take a step back every once in a while otherwise life will pass you by.  Those might not be the exact words, but hell it was along those lines.  I have had my very own Ferris Bueller moment recently, lost in my crappy job, not actually sure where the hell life was taking me so I decided to take five and get off for a while. 

I am pretty shocked at where that decision or lack of one, took me…  Dante (possibly a sign!) from a recruitment agency called out of the blue, usually I would just put the phone down, but I decided to give him a listen, as I didn’t have much going on at that particular moment. 

Now he told me he had a job, part time, it was based at home with the occasional trip to Gloucester, this instantly got my attention as I am from Gloucester and it would also involve train travel (which I love, hours of inspiration and people watching to be done on trains!).  Saying that I still wasn’t sure about this whole homeworking thing, those are just the jobs they stick in the paper to hook us, jobs like that don’t really exist, do they?  Well not to Joe average, like me, so where is the catch?

He asked me if I wanted a telephone interview so I thought I would give it a go, what did I have to lose?  Victoria phoned me, which went really well and Dante called back saying she wanted to meet me, great… anyhow long story short, I got the job.

The strangest thing is that I wasn’t actually looking for a job, I have been happily working away on the website and my writing course, which is fantastic btw (writing course that is... website’s not bad either!)  I still can’t believe that it has taken me this long to start my writing, although if it hadn’t have been for the whole blogging, I don’t think I ever would have started.  This probably would have resulted in a nervous breakdown, as I have discovered there is a lot going on inside this head of mine, needless to say I am quite surprised by where the whole writing thing is taking me! 

I think my family are also relieved as now I have somewhere to vent, I leave them alone and actually feel calm when I have finished writing.  In fact I have had some of the best night’s sleep that I have had in years over the last month or so.  This isn’t helping the writing though as I usually find the insomnia brings out my creative.   Therapeutic, definitely, although I do need to be careful who I share my work with, as after showing some people, I am thinking now maybe I shouldn’t have!

I taught myself years ago that if I was scared of something I had to throw myself in feet first.  For some reason I never applied this to my fear of people’s judgement, possibly because it was a subconscious thing and I wasn’t really aware of it.  The most bizarre thing being the very people whose opinions haunted me the most, count for absolutely nothing as they have less than zero to offer, in fact they lead pretty empty lives.  These are the same people who have ripped my heart out over and over time and again. 

I have always sat them on their pedestals and listened to what they had to say, pedestals that they never really deserved to sit on in the first place.  The tragedy being they sat up there looking down on the rest of us, but if they actually spent five minutes looking at themselves, they would realise just how sad and empty their lives really were.  Who knows maybe they can’t face it, so choose to attack others instead, truly believing that they actually have something to offer the rest of us!

This blog and my others have given me the courage to finally put myself out there for comment and criticism.  I have always convinced myself that I don’t care what people think, yet discovered it is the very thing of my nightmares.  I have also managed to turn the music off, which has been playing in the background forever and finally listen to my thoughts, which once used to scare the hell out of me. 

Anyhow this isn’t where I wanted to go, what I am actually trying to say is that thanks to my writing, I have found me again and even if people don’t like the words, or think they are any good it is irrelevant, as I no longer care.  What gives some jumped up idiot the right to ruin our dreams and why are they under the impression their opinions count for anything?  What is relevant though is that I am finally happy, and I truly hope that everyone finds there’s.